There’s something about this person, I don’t know what, that makes me feel awful everytime I see them. I avoid them whenever possible and can honestly say that I genuinely dislike them. When I think of this person, I can’t help but swear at them in my mind. This person is making me a bad person.
Whenever I speak to them, I feel like they are beating me up. They suck out all of my energy, leaving me drained when we’ve finished our conversation. I find myself becoming more and more irritable, frustrated and impatient. This is not the kind of person I want to be.
This person doesn’t listen. Asking question after question, without giving me a chance to answer. Even though I have more knowledge and expertise in this area than them. In the end I don’t say anything as I don’t have the strength or energy to deal with this person.
The worse thing is that I feel like they are sucking out my values, beliefs and confidence from me. I feel like they are slowly, bit by bit breaking me. I don’t want to be broken. I want to be confident and believe in myself and my abilities.
I have to put an end to this. I have to leave, it’s the only way I will save myself in this company. This male dominated industry I work in, where the male ego is more important than anything else.
I honestly don’t know what it is about them, but they are no good for me as a person. For my mental and emotional wellbeing. They are no good for the human inside of me. The motivation inside me. The learner inside me. But most of all they are no good for the good person I aspire to be, that is inside of me, waiting to shine.
©️BijM01, July 2018
Normal is not real 