Scared

I’m scared. I’m scared of being around people, I’m scared of meeting people and I’m scared of talking to people. I don’t give people my full attention when talking to them, I don’t give them that eye contact.

What exactly is it I’m afraid of? Being judged? Saying something stupid? Doing something silly….? Am I scared of myself? My failures? My flaws?

Or is it that I’m scared that they’ll see straight through me…. see the real me. See that I’m not really composed or confident. See that I’m pretending to be ok…. that it’s all just one big lie?

I was asked today if my anxiety was caused by being ashamed. I’d never even considered this. Am I ashamed? Am I ashamed of being me?

©️BijM01, March 2019