This is such a difficult phase in my life. I cannot explain how much I struggle on a day to day basis. To get up and go to work. To sit on my chair at work trying to relax, when all I can think of is how tense I am sitting there. Pretending that everything … Continue reading I want
Tag: #normalisnotreal
I miss you
Everytime I stop and close my eyes, I remember you. I can feel my eyes start to sting and my nose begin to run as I fight back tears. I remember you in your last moments. On that bed. So frail. It was like the only thing remaining in your body was your breath. The … Continue reading I miss you
No more
No more drama No more pain No more fears No more stress No more tension No more anxiety No more feeling unloved No more lying No more hurt No more anger No more irritation Just Love. Love, peace, patience and forbearance. And of course a smile 😊 ©️BijM01, February 2019
Work
Day in day out, I go to work. I've come to realise that I actually hate going to work. The management and the direction the company is going in. I don't agree with the way the company is doing things and no longer wish to be part of it. It is quite demotivating and demoralizing … Continue reading Work
Anxiety
I'm struggling. I'm struggling to move on and away from my feelings of anxiousness. I feel like being anxious has become part of my identity now. I can't seem to move past this. I don't want anxiety to be the basis of my identity. I worry about being anxious all the time. Whenever I have … Continue reading Anxiety
Confidence
Whilst walking through the long corridors in the hospital today after visiting my grandad, I've realised that I've lost my confidence. Can you believe it? Me. How did this happen? I'm racking my brain trying to find the cause of it. I am avoiding eye contact with strangers. I feel anxious passing people in the … Continue reading Confidence
Wish
I wish love was enough to help you from hurting. It's so difficult seeing a loved one in pain and feeling hurt. I hate the not being in control. I hate the dull ache inside of me. I hate that it's you, not me going through this. I hate that I can't take the pain … Continue reading Wish
Let me in
I want to help you, but the truth is I don't know how to. I want to be there for you, but I don't know how to. Let me in. Even if it's just to hold your hand. Talk to me, I want to be here for you. Tell me what is bothering you, what … Continue reading Let me in
Thank you
Thank you for reminding me that I am all alone. Thank you for reminding me that I have no one I can call my own. Thank you for putting me in my place and reminding me that I am actually no one. I have no one who supports me, or backs me up. I have … Continue reading Thank you
Love like this
Love. The type of love, where you give your everything to someone. Where you worship the ground they walk on, and would do absolutely anything for them. Even if it means putting your dreams, your happiness and your success after theirs. The kind of love where you completely and utterly give yourself, and lose yourself … Continue reading Love like this
The Power of Love
Love everyone in the world as if they are your own. Treat everyone you meet in the way you would like to be treated. Love. Love everyone and love unconditionally. Love is the most powerful emotion in the world. Even God himself bows down to true love. These are all the phrases we hear on … Continue reading The Power of Love
Positivity
You are what you think. You feel what you think and you become what you feel. Stop. Stop putting yourself down. Stop negative thoughts from entering your mind. Stop putting your thoughts and your feelings after everyone else's. Stop worrying about what other people think of you. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Respect yourself … Continue reading Positivity
Bad day
I've had a bad day today. One where I really haven't felt good. I've been grumpy, on edge and continuously anxious. I hate when I feel like this cos I find it so hard to pick myself up again. To be positive. To not let the setback or drag me down and hold me back. … Continue reading Bad day
Would you?
If I told you that it wasn't meant to be this way, would you believe me? If I told you that all this wasn't real, it's simply just a figment of your imagination, would you still give me the time of day? If I told you, that even in the darkness, light will always be … Continue reading Would you?
Running Away
One thing I have learnt over the past few weeks, is that I am the queen of running away. Looking back at my life, even when I was only 12 years old, I recall that I ran away when situations were too difficult to deal with. At that age however, I don't think that I … Continue reading Running Away
Frustrated
Eugh! I feel really frustrated. I want more out of life. I want to do more. I want to be the best that I can be. I want a new job, but I don't know what to go in to. I want to do something meaningful. Something with purpose that helps other people. I want … Continue reading Frustrated
Me and my Persona
Ever since I was a little girl, I've put up this front with people. One of resilience, strength and a 'don't mess with me' attitude. I also pride myself in always keeping cool, calm and collective. Never giving the game away and never allowing all but a handful of people to know the real me. … Continue reading Me and my Persona
Nobody understands
Nobody seems to understand what I am going through. I feel so alone in this big wide world. Part of me doesn't want to share my feelings to those close to me, cos I don't want them to worry about me. The other part is just dying for an opportune moment to pour my heart … Continue reading Nobody understands
I love Friday night
I absolutely love Friday night. Once I've finished work and am sitting on the sofa at home. It's the only time in the week that I feel totally relaxed, free of worry and completely at ease. My mind has stopped running. There are no thoughts racing through my head. Work on Monday seems ages away. … Continue reading I love Friday night
Moving On
A feeling of sadness. A feeling of fear. But not an angry or resentful sadness, more one of acceptance. Tears are slowly rolling down my cheeks, but I feel like they are releasing my pain. They are somehow putting me at ease, filling me with peace. Making room for a dose of happiness. I'll accept … Continue reading Moving On
Normal is not real 