I close my eyes and take a deep breath in. I slowly exhale, almost waiting for the weight on my shoulders to ease. To drop. I've been feeling so tense lately. My shoulders are stiff and sensitive. The slightest touch of my shoulder blades leaves me wincing in pain. And the worst thing about all … Continue reading I Caused It
Tag: #normalisnotreal
Always the case in the workplace
It's always the case. Even though I have more experience and knowledge about a certain area or field in my workplace, my words, thoughts and opinions are given second place. It's so annoying, especially when the other people who are given more value than me haven't actually worked on what is being discussed. Why is … Continue reading Always the case in the workplace
There is
There is calm in this storm. There is light in this darkness. There is rays of light beaming through these thick clouds. Fighting it's way through and dazzling me with its brilliant shine. The light is pouring onto me, soaking me through. Leaving me feeling light, free, happy and peaceful. There is peace (shanti) in … Continue reading There is
Love
I've always struggled with love. Especially telling the people I love that I love them. My throat dries up and I choke, trying my best to hold back the tears that are that are waiting to burst out. Fighting to keep them in. I'm not really sure why I struggle so much with affection. It … Continue reading Love
Reminiscing
There are some things in life, that reminiscing about brings a smile to your lips. It could be a photograph of a loved one, a place you've visited before, a song, or even eating a specific food dish. For me this evening it's been listening to old school songs. Reminiscing about what the songs represented … Continue reading Reminiscing
Being A Good Person
I try my best to be a good person. I try my best to not let people get to me, or get upset or wish someone bad luck when they harm me. But it's really difficult to not have bad thought go through your mind at times. This world can be difficult. People can be … Continue reading Being A Good Person
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the key to my happiness. Forgiveness is the key to my self acceptance. Forgiveness is the first step in my healing process. Forgiving others is easy; as long as I put my pride and ego aside. However, forgiving myself is the most difficult part, because it means admitting that there is something wrong. … Continue reading Forgiveness
I can
I can do anything I put my mind to. I can be anything I desire to be. And I can achieve everything possible. So next time you're with me, don't tell me I can't do something. In fact don't tell me what I can and can't do full stop. I am better than you think … Continue reading I can
Hands that serve are holier than lips that pray
"Hands that serve are holier than lips that pray." Baba A well known proverb that can actually be put into action and is easy to understand. What have you done today to help another? What have you done to help someone who is need, someone who is hungry, someone who is thirsty or someone who … Continue reading Hands that serve are holier than lips that pray
Dealing with things
I seem to somehow have lost my ability to deal with things... with life. The slightest upset, worry or stress leaves me feeling nervous and anxious. I've also noticed I'm jumpy. I get butterflies in my stomach at the slightest thing and generally feel on edge whenever I'm out. The truth is I feel like … Continue reading Dealing with things
Change
I've made the decision to let go. To embrace life and be free. Free from all the shackles in my life that are tying me down. To do something I truly love and leave this rat race of chasing money. For the first time thinking about it doesn't make me feel scared. I feel slightly … Continue reading Change
This Person
There's something about this person, I don't know what, that makes me feel awful everytime I see them. I avoid them whenever possible and can honestly say that I genuinely dislike them. When I think of this person, I can't help but swear at them in my mind. This person is making me a bad … Continue reading This Person
Worrying about other people’s opinions
All of my life I have believed that I don't care what other people think of me. What others do does not affect me and is none of my business. It's not my problem. I can do whatever I want without thinking twice about them. But recently I've realised that I do care. Very much. … Continue reading Worrying about other people’s opinions
Dreams
As a child I had many dreams. My main dream was to grow up, be successful in my career and to marry the man of my dreams, and have my own beautiful children. The success of a job didn't matter as much as having my own family. Of having the good fortune to be someone's … Continue reading Dreams
Cry
I want to cry. To feel the pain that's inside of me come rolling out in the form of tears. Salty tears, that roll down my cheeks and with it roll out all the pain, anxiety and unsteadiness that I am feeling. Feeling and carrying with me, day in, day out, whilst pretending to the … Continue reading Cry
The beach, beach, beach
The beach is by far, one of my favourite places to be. I don't know what it is about the beach, but I could stand there all day. With my toes curled up in the sand... looking out to the sea. I could watch the waves day after day, hour after hour, and still feel … Continue reading The beach, beach, beach
Choose to be Happy
Happiness. It's an odd thing. Is there more than just a moment in time when we are truly happy? And what does true happiness actually mean? I've been told many a time to be happy. And today I heard "choose to be happy." This got me thinking, are you telling me that this whole time … Continue reading Choose to be Happy
Life, Tears and Belief
Life is a funny thing. The ups, the downs, the laughter, the tears. That feeling in the pit of your stomach. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. The tears that sting your eyes, the ones that you fail to understand. Are these happy tears, or sad tears? Maybe they are just tears of relief. Or maybe they … Continue reading Life, Tears and Belief
Caring
How important is it to care? What does caring really mean? And what does caring represent? I didn't mean to stop caring. I didn't want to stop caring. But I had to stop caring, as by caring I was hurting myself. My beliefs, my values. Caring took away my smiles, my laughter, my contentment. It … Continue reading Caring
You get what you give
Life goes by so quickly, Before we know it days, weeks, months and years go by. What are we searching for? What are we all trying to achieve? Do we notice that our lives filled with the same routine day in day out, just goes flying by and that special something or someone is never … Continue reading You get what you give
Normal is not real 